A lot of us say no. The habit is so ingrained that we don’t notice it.
But from the time we’re toddlers, we hear “No!” several times a day. And phrases like, “Don’t touch,” or, “Don’t do that,” are common.
This constant use of “no” leaves an imprint on our brains. We reflexively pick up the behavior.
But constantly saying ‘no’ affects the quality of life.
When we say no, we’re blocking. It limits opportunities and experiences. We become stagnant and stale. We end up living in a closet with little ventilation and fresh air.
Here’s a secret that will change your life.
Say yes.
Say yes to everything.
By saying yes, you start improvising your life. It’s an optimistic, courageous act that opens your experiences to people and places you’ve never seen.
Practice saying yes using an improvisational theatre technique:
Here’s what to do.
You and a friend have a conversation.
There are 3 rules that must be followed:
- No questions are allowed.
- You can only respond with ‘Yes and’ when something is said to you. ‘Yes but’ is not allowed.
- Everything you say needs to build on what the other person said.
Here’s an example.
Improviser #1: I’m going to the store to buy some milk.
Improviser #2: Yes, and while you’re there get me some cheese please.
Improviser#1: Yes, and then I’ll go and fill the car up with gas.
Improviser #2: Yes, that’s a good idea because we have a long trip ahead of us.
The goal of the game is to build the conversation and add dialogue. And through practice in everyday life, you become expansive, optimistic, and hope. You develop a ‘can do’ attitude.
You also become spontaneous and take more risks. You no longer need to be in control or know what’s going to happen. You learn to play, laugh your head off, and have one hell of a great time.
So, exercise those ‘yes’ muscles.
It’ll change your life.
You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be actually something which I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and very broad for me. I’m looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!
Thanks for your comment. Like developing any new habit, if you take it step by step, you’re more likely to have success. Do the exercise I mentioned a few times, and you’ll begin to see changes in how you approach situations. Find friends who are willing to ‘play’ with you! Fran
Thanks for your comment. Like developing any new habit, if you take it step by step, you’re more likely to have success. Do the exercise I mentioned a few times, and you’ll begin to see changes in how you approach situations. Find friends who are willing to ‘play’ with you! Fran
Thanks on creating one of the most stylish blogs I have come across in a long time! It’s truly incredible how much you are able to take away from some thing simply because of how aesthetically gorgeous it is. Youve created a fantastic be site fantastic graphics , structure. site!
Hey Sylvia,
Thanks so much. It’s a basic WordPress site. I couldn’t have done without the help of Mary Jaksch of A List Blogging Boot Camp. Fran
Hey Sylvia,
Thanks so much. It’s a basic WordPress site. I couldn’t have done without the help of Mary Jaksch of A List Blogging Boot Camp. Fran
Hi Fran:
Your post reminds me of that movie, Yes Man, with Jim Carrey. Highly recommend it if you haven’t seen it.
– Wendy
Wendy..
HA! Yes, I do remember it. Good connection. Will view it again over the holidays. Fran
Wendy..
HA! Yes, I do remember it. Good connection. Will view it again over the holidays. Fran
I love it! Reminds me of my favorite line in the John Lennon song: “Yes is the answer…”
Sarah…
Will need to go back and listen to it. If John Lennon says it’s so, I’m in! Fran
Sarah…
Will need to go back and listen to it. If John Lennon says it’s so, I’m in! Fran
Fran,
As others have said, I also love the stylish nature of your blog. Not only because of the looks of it but the timeliness of its topic. You really made me think with this one. Thank you!
Christina
Christina…
Coming from a gardener who knows about style and creativity, your compliment means a lot to me. Learning to listen is a never ending process….just as gardening…am glad it got you thinking. Fran
While there’s so much out there telling us to say no more often to avoid overload and overwhelm, you’ve definitely pointed out a good argument for saying yes more often! I thought of the Jim Carey movie too.
So often we say no out of fear of the unknown and fear of failure. Taking a chance and saying yes when it feels uncomfortable can open the door to all kinds of wonderful experiences. That uncomfortable feeling is just our monkey mind trying to keep us “safe” and in our comfort zone. We never get anywhere without pushing our limits and expanding the boundaries of that comfort zone.
Awesome post Fran! Love it!!
Dear Paige…
You are so right. It’s easy when you get into a fearful place to run from it rather than using it as a tool to push forward. I love the phrase that Pema Chodron uses: ‘Lean into it’.
I know that your life is expanding exponentially because you have opened your arms, welcomed it in, and are saying yes! Your posts are glistening…
Hi Fran,
This was a brilliant post and I loved how you covered saying “yes” in our lives.
Indeed, there are so many powerful things that can happen by doing this, as you included in your post.
I agree, it does change one’s mindset into a ‘can do’ one and it is just so much more fun. It makes life spontaneous and helps us spend more moments in that precious area called ‘the now’.
I’m 100% with you. It can be life changing.
Hiten-You are 100% correct about improv. keeping us in the now. AND because of that, the idea that someone can be ‘clever’ in their response is negated because all you can do is to ‘do or say’ in that moment…along with following the rules! Thanks for checking out the post Hiten. Fran