The garden teaches us endless lessons ~ one of them is how to let go of control.
For centuries in the world of gardening, there has been an ongoing debate as to whether humans control nature, nature is in charge of if humans and nature collaborate.
I personally think that Mother Nature is the source of wisdom. And if humans followed her lead, we would live a healthier, more peaceful life.
In my own urban rooftop veggie garden, my vines are growing wild. There was a time when I would have been out everyday vigilantly cutting back and securing them on the arbor.
Lablab purpureus -Hyacinth Bean Vine
No more.
When you need to be in control all of the time, you feel tense and a sense of urgency. You’re in the ‘gotta get it done’ mode.
That’s no way to live.
Letting go of control frees you up to live a more creative and joyful life.
Here are some tips I’ve learned over the years.
1. Listen to your body and thoughts. Are you tense? Are you experiencing some agitation/fear? Is your heart and thoughts racing? Do you feel a sense of compulsion- that you must get everything done?
2. Ask your self the questions:
Do I really need to do this? What would happen if I didn’t do it and let it go?
3. Let it go. Even if you feel uneasy about not doing something, experiment. You can choose any behavior or thought.
4. Take note of how it feels to give up control. Continue to let go of some behaviors that you don’t really need to do.
Life can be much more beautiful when you allow yourself freedom to just ‘be and not always ‘do’.
** In the video, I didn’t mention one of my core beliefs about nature and humans. It’s this. ‘It’s in humankind’s best interest to mimic nature. We should follow the wisdom of her and look to indigenous people who have been listening to her for thousands of years.
NOW IT’S YOUR TURN. Share strategies and behaviors in your life where you’ve learned to give up control ~
Terrific advice Fran. Absolutely loved this video. I’ve learned it’s ok not to finish the to-do list because it does cause stress when i go over board. I’ve learned how much I can do for a day and I’ve placed most important tasks at the top of the list so i can leave those not so urgent things for the following day if need be and not feel stressed about it. it’s been quiet a relief.
Vanita – Am glad that my thoughts were helpful to you. How are you doing ‘letting go’ today (with a wink and a hug) ? Fran
The best way to let go is to sometimes remember that we are ephemeral.We all must ,one day,leave this world.Then only do we begin to relish the little joys of life;and pause in our tracks,trying to incessantly accumulate everything material.
We usually make the mistake of living everyday as if we are going to live a thousand years.Never to die.
And thus we go on doing wrong ,being small minded,accumulating disturbances,fighting within ourselves and with others.
We relish indulging in our complaints ;real or imagined.
We let the “little beetles” of life, beat us down.
There is a better way to live surely.Stopping to smell the roses now and then,despite our breakneck speed of life, is one of them.
Thanks
Mona.
What a thoughtful post with wonderful words pearls of knowing. It is so true that most of us do live each day as if we’re going to be here forever forgetting that our time on this earth – in these bodies – are limited. I have witnessed several friends and acquaintances who have died the past few years. It has lit a burning fire under me. Fran
Hi Fran,
Love your presence and your video. Way to go:) Have a great weekend.
Tess – Thanks sweet lady and right back at you!
Lovely Fran. Both you and your words.
e-hugs
Elle –
Thanks so much my wise friend – 🙂
Love this line Fran – Life can be much more beautiful when you allow yourself freedom to just ‘be and not always ‘do’. Now will go and watch your video! They are always so good.
Cathy –
Most of us are so busy doing and trying to win approval/succeed that we don’t even remember what it means to just ‘be’. It is a life time of a work BUT well worth it. 🙂 Fran
God, I LOVE this video and the way you are PRESENT there. It’s one of the best “video-experiences” I’ve had in a long time! It’s almost like visiting you, almost feeling those leaves on my skin too. Amazing…
As you know I have this project supporting widows on their way from grief to growth. For them, the garden is often THE place to seek relief and peace. And at the same time there’s the inner pressure to keep the garden (and oneself) under control… Your video sheds such lovely light on all that!
THANK YOU!
Warmly,
Halina
Dear Halina –
Thanks for your very kind words – they mean a great deal to me. I know about your work with widowers and yes – how they use gardening in their lives can be incredibly therapeutic on several levels. It’s always good to hear from you. A big hug- Fran
I love your point of view, Fran. Letting go has been a theme for my life in the last 4 years! Thanks for the reminder!!
Betsy-
I think that ‘letting go’ is a theme in almost everyone’s life. The only difference is that there are some who know it is and work on it and others who don’t. Your smile and joie de vivre for life is a great example of someone who is doing the work – xxoo
Thanks for sharing this video Fran.
I’m now a big believer of letting go of control. Once I came to terms with the fact that I had no control of how the universe or life operated, I surprisingly had more control of my life. I realized things were going to work out as they were and I could/should adapt to those circumstances. Before I was brood over the fact that it wasn’t working out as I had hoped. Now, I can learn to adapt and roll with life working out as it does.
The garden is a great analogy!
Vishnu-
It’s interesting how when we let go of control that because we are less clogged up with fear, we are more relaxed, creative, and flexible. Your shift in attitude is an important one. It has allowed you to get unstuck from being a victim. But let me offer you another thought – that if you use your imagination, believe in your dreams, and KNOW that you can make them happen, your life will be ‘what you’ve dreamed’. I hope that makes sense 🙂 Fran